Viewpoints on Supporting Kids Into Adulthood Part 2
So interesting to read your views since I posted this topic!
Thank you so much for your honest opinions!
As far as my views, on the whole, without taking in exceptions and unique situations ( those do happen, but rarely)
I think it is important to let kids try their abilities young. Consequences are far less painful when you are single and 18, vs 45 and with kids/family.
It’s a tough subject all around, but I think it is important that we, as parents, prepare kids for life. To me, that’s love too. I want them to be successful and fly as high as they possibly dream to. For that, they have to be able to set goals and achieve them on their own.
Nobody knows what future holds. If I am suddenly gone, I want my kids to know the ways to be able to still achieve that which they dream of. This is why I think it’s important that kids work while in college. It’s a soft transition into a real world.
It’s interesting that college struck a cord with so many, even though the question was not if parents should pay for kids college. That particular topic comes up a lot during conversations with other moms in our area.
I stand with the majority who think that while it’s very important to have a college fund set up for kids, it’s essential that they don’t count on it and try for scholarships first.
I agree with this.
I think it’s important that kids count on their own strengths and try the best they can. A financial part is only a small part of the reason.
Striving for scholarships sets the foundation for more options and an easier path into life. Scholarships take extra effort to qualify for. They take double effort to maintain. Those are good qualities to cultivate for anyone in life. Being a scholarship recipient or an honor student are great credentials to put on a resume when looking for internships, and great internships are definitely a big step to a successful career. If something doesn’t work as planned, then, of course, there is a college fund to fall back on, but we will encourage kids to try their own strengths first. And if all works well, they have well-earned funds to give them a start in adult life.
Many russian-speaking readers said that they are of the mentality that kids didn’t ask to be brought into this world, so it’s our responsibility to help and support them throughout their entire lives.
I absolutely agree, that it is our responsibility to help them. But I think that “help” shifts as years go by. It is just as much of parental duty to give kids fulfilling childhood as it it to give them SKILLS necessary for success. “Spoonfeeding” a healthy and capable of independence 20-25-30 year old is not fulfilling a parental responsibility in my eyes. That’s hurting a child. What would happen if a parent suddenly dies? How is the child going to support him/herself?
Someone said that “teaching them how and talking to them is enough. They would be able to apply it if the need arises”.
But theory without practice is just about as effective as having an athlete sit on the stands and observe the team practice, with full confidence that when the time for competition starts, he/she will know what to do and win the race. Not too likely, right?
To me, love has many sides. One of them is to allow kids to make mistakes and learn from them early, when we can help them should things go wrong, so that they have experience and knowledge on how to pull themselves through when we can’t.
Something like that.
What do you think on the last two points?
Is it important for kids to try things on their own? Make their own mistakes early on?