4 Insights on Motherhood
Happy Thursday! Throw-back to SF when Elia was born! Three years, wow!
Here are some of my views on life, motherhood, and a couple of things that I have learned from real-life stories similar to the ones I shared recently..
1. It’s important to live your dream.
However, if the realization of that dream depends on other people, that dream is not “yours” any more. Other people’s wishes and dreams, even if they are our own kids, need to be respected too.
In case with a Woman B, she painted a certain picture of how her life should/would be, but her entire happiness model depended on other people’s performance per HER desires. That is a sure path to a disappointment.
2. Working or choosing not to work is secondary, as many of you mentioned ( and I agree). I do believe, though, that it is essential to be 100% honest with oneself and to be 100% accepting of other people’s choices. Having or not having work in addition to a family does not make a woman any less of a mother just the same way as dedicating her life to homemaking doesn’t make one be a great mother by default. There are so many aspect to motherhood, we each have our own way.
3. Too much control is a sure way to kill any relationship.
I don’t think that kids in a woman B’s case are ungrateful. They, most likely, just need some space and some air to breathe. How much is too much is a difficult question, but, in my opinion, if kids don’t have space when they are growing up, they will dive head in the moment they are free. The forbidden fruit effect, nothing groundbreaking. Making that “free roaming space” as safe as possible the most we can do.
4.It’s important to choose the path one would be happy on.
No matter how much it goes against the grid of the surroundings. I’ve seen just as many unhappy working moms who are pressured to go to work by society as I have seen STAHMs who are mourning their careers they gave up to have kids.
I honestly do not believe that one way is better than the other.
The goal is happy, confident, educated and well-mannered, fit to face life children who will succeed on whichever path they choose. That is only possible when a mother ( both parents, actually), is fulfilled herself.
It’s the worst when parents are trying to fulfill their life-goals through their kids. I am yet to see that bring happiness, peace and success to anyone. Have you?
Where do you fall in, I am curious. How many of you are stahms? How many are working moms? Are you happy with your choice? Did you have a choice?