It's been some time since the last post. Writer's block. Just the other way around. There was so much to say in my heart , that it was near to impossible to put it all on paper ( or computer) .So I ended up saying nothing, and keeping it all to myself. With time, I will tell.
However, today, walking outside, I realized that today is the day, when I am ready to write. Something new and something different that I haven't felt in a while: It feels good to be normal again. Normal from the eyes of my world. Where I don't have to cringe in guilt at the coffee shop, where there is no need for a strictly at the knee or below length or covered shoulder only,
where three kids ( or ANY number of kids) is a wonder and miracle, where marriage is an exception, and where the relationships matter because there is no obligation , but only pure hearts desire. To be in the world filled with people, and street carts, and news paper stands and business talk, and museum updates, and new exhibitions, and concerts and shows to the extend that there is no possible way to see them all. Where at the greeting from the warm sun, the restaurants and cafe's spread out on the side walks , with beautifully set tables and fancy cloth napkins; where eating out is not a "fun", but regularity; where parks are filled with picnics and bike riders. The world that has life. It feels good to be a part of it again.
PS Disclaimer. To my dear LDS friends - please, do not take this offensively. I know that what you do works for you beautifully. And may that bring happiness to you always. You love your life. And I do mine.